Being a Victim & Witness to Major Crimes

It started in March 2007

I was approached by another inmate and ask if I knew anyone that would kill his wife, I thought about it and we came to an agreement on how and when and where it would happen.
I went to local authorities, we set this man up and he was arrested. That took 3 months to do to get the right evidence we needed to send him to prison.
Now he's in jail on a million bails and I have all these meetings with the prosecutor's and his attorney's and can't go back to work because of the involvement in this case.
Three months go by and Crystal S. Williams assaults me. She was charged with a felony DV in which she did not have to pay any restitution or was this person fined.
Next evening at the local Fred Meyer's store
I see the same lady that just helped me yell at someone who was shoplifting and he pushed his way by her. When I seen what had just happen I followed the thief to a waiting car. As he got into this Chevy Blazer the driver jumped into his side put the key into the ignition as the thief told him "get the hell out of here" I was hit by this Blazer and thrown 30ft into the air.
With five witnesses’ in whom I did not know telling the police what had happen they caught this man and took him to the same hospital I was sent to. I stayed two days and was released. The driver was taken to the hospital and released. In the newspaper and on the local TV station's they said he was caught and charged with 3 felonies hit and run felony vehicular assault and robbery.
He was never charged.
When I found out about this I question everyone including the prosecutor’s office that at the time was his or her key witness in a "murder for hire trial". They said there was nothing they could do case close. He was never charged and no one would tell me why.
I emailed everyone in the City Council here in Vancouver WA and finally got the City Attorney to file charges on this man. He was charge with assault four a misdemeanor but enough to get crime's victim involved.
Now just about a year to the day when this man ask me if I knew someone who would kill his wife he goes on trial and because of my testimony he was found guilty and sentence to 53 years in prison.
Great I am thinking this part is over and now I need to figure out why this other guy was not charged with a crime.
I am getting no help from anyone. The welfare denied me help Crimes Victim/Witness denied me help and I am sleeping couch to couch.
With pains in my stomach and bad thoughts running through my head I am beginning to think I am going crazy. I go to the hospital for my pains and end up having a surgeon coming into my room. He wants to take out my gallbladder, he did and after that he came out and told my friends that my gallbladder was good and that he was sorry and did not know exactly what the problem was.
I spent seven days in the hospital with worse pains then before I went there.
I go back to a friends couch and recover from this uncalled surgery.

I go online to Washington's Court's.
There I enter his name in "find my court date" and see he has NINE new driving offense's and is still driving. What is going on and why?
To get a better view of myself loosing my mind I enter Station Two, a Mental Health hospital here in Vancouver Washington. There I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depression Disorder, and Recurrent because of what I was going through.
I sent the Crime's/Witness Program what I pulled up on the Internet and they approved my claim. Now they approve my medical bills and because I did not work 3 month's consecutively (I worked nine weeks) they say they do not owe me any compensation for me as a victim.
In the year and a half of all this going on I was responsible for me getting back in forth to the first case and getting them a conviction but yet they turn their head on helping me.
I worked with the detectives for three months to get convictions and then the prosecutors for another nine months do you think they would help me out?
No
They would not even give me any money for the three times I was subpoena. What can I do to get these Crimes Victim/Witness Program to compensate me?

After spending 4 out of 6 weeks at Station Two I followed up with ADAPT a program that is outpatient for Mental Health patients. Again I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depression Recurrent Disorder and then put on eight different medicines. Still seeing a therapist once a week and she does not see me getting better any time soon.
For the last year and a half I have not had a penny to my name. I have had friends that let me stay with them but that wares out. I would sleep in the woods having thoughts of hanging myself from one of the trees. then I think about my six children who's mother's haven't let me see them in 18 years, just because the mother's said NO you can't visit them.
Anyway I would not like them to think I was so weak I would commit suicide. No I want my kids to know me by not what their mothers tell them but by whom I really am.

I get upset because it seems like no-one is listening to me kind of like the movie "I am Sam" I feel like I am a retard somewhat and why would God let this happen?
I cry in front of people I don't even know. As I now have to explain this again. I am so tired not being able to have a day I can say, "hey today is the day we are all going to the beach"
I can't because I have no money to do so.
I watch others as they get ready to go and knowing the situation I sneak out and find myself lost in a place I thought was America but begin to think I am in a communist country.
I see all these people from the Dino Constance "Murder for hire" case get paid all this money and why did they get that money? Me,
Ricci Castellanos gave them that.
Everyone who worked on his case, and the people who will oversee him for the rest of his life.
Then there's the guy who hit me in Fred Meyer's parking lot.
All the party's involved from the Ambulance Company who has taken me to the hospital at least 6 times at 848.00 each time. The surgeon, who took my gallbladder out, mental hospital I stayed for a month at 3000.00 a day. The ADAPT program for its outpatient program at 2000.00 a day. My med., emergency room visits anyway its getting close to the 150.000.00 allotted from crimes victim.
When all they had to do was pay for my hospital stay when i was hit by Andrew A. Bartholomew the driver of the Chevy blazer because I was working making 42.77 an hour as a job site superintendent. I am seeing over a million dollars paid out and still being paid out and it was all because I chose to save a woman's life.
And then again try and help another lady who was pushed by a shoplifter.
If I was to get some kind of payment I would be able to get my own place with a calendar and mark those events I want to go to. i would be able to hopefully get off these med. and feel like a normal person.
I feel so lost and I shake all the time because I am scared that someone wants to hurt me. Since the arrest of Dino I have been beat up three different times for being a RAT, and those were from people I did not know.
If someone gave me 53 years I would have nothing to lose, I would make sure who gave it to me dies. I would make sure he is taken away from his loved ones as he did to me. I am scared of the police here because I am making an issue of them not letting me know I had rights as a witness to be protected from harm and threats. They did nothing but set me out there to be victimizing by both sides.
I guess I rambled long enough, sorry. I don't go anywhere and I am sad because I don't have anyone anymore.
People getting paid for me to ride my bike to all the appointments (hoops) and it makes for along bike ride. The bike I have is one I put together and it is not even a adult bike. My 1200.00 bike was stolen from Fred Meyer's the night I was taken to the hospital after being hit and no one wants to help me there either.
But you know what I have never missed an appointment (hoop) because I have to do this. I live and breath this damn mess and I am so tired I don't want this in my head no more I want to be loved by a real woman I want to have feelings like I use to, I want to be touched not hit by people who care.
Please I am begging you as a humane being to not let this go unjust.
Thanks so very much for even giving me the hope that someone like you can and will see that the right decisions are made. I lived by the law of the land, what gives others the right not to do so even when they are the ones who wrote these laws?

I forgotten to inform you the Clark County Prosecutors Office when I was their Key witness that they as prosecutors never did inform me that I had rights as a witness. That I was to be protected from harm and threats
And To be informed of all court proceedings involving Dino Constance.
That I was to be protected from having to talk to investigators but I was tricked by investigator to talk to him about another case I was involved in back in 1995 the Happy Face Killer Kieth Jesperson. He was my cellmate and I was the first one he told about the 8 murders he had done.
I was the one who went to the Multnomah County Sheriffs and told them about Tanya Bennett. I was the one who got the two people that were in prison for 5 years out for her Murder. Yes I see a good chance for Dino to win his appeal and what would it look like that I lost my mind?
Yea they sure did protect me as you can see.
I don't know what I am going to do it seems like everyone has their own agenda and I guess when it comes to me am not part of it.
I want so much to be happy but I am very alone.
I met with the two ladies from Clark County VA and they met with me at the hospital where I was a patient at Station Two. It was nice of them to bring me a 50.00 Winco card, I used it to buy bathroom and other house cleaners.
I am a compulsive cleaner inside and out and I believe I get that from growing up in foster homes and groups homes when I was younger.
I am 49 years old and I have always wanted nothing but for someone to be proud of me. Do you know what it is like to grow up in 5 or 6 or even 7 homes a year? I bet not.
Let me tell you a little about growing up in a home that is not yours.
First of all, when the women from the State Welfare Office pulls up and you recognize them, you know that they are there to take you away. And for no reason as a kid you don't say nothing to anybody, you gather your things and get into the back of their waiting car.
What is a kid to say?
None of the other boys had to leave, what have I done, I never could figure that out.
No tears to shed just these two women telling me I was going to like my new home and that I would have to change schools.
Yes I was going to the other side of town to be money in someone else's pocket. (Kind of like all the pockets I fill now).
I had to bring my two paper bags with me always because that is all I ever owned (that is two more bags then I own now) and my life was in those bags.

I would come into these home and try to be wanted. I never stole from any of them but back then there was not to many Mexican children around and I would get blamed for a lot of things that came up missing. When I would go to bed, I would go to the closet and get out the foster kid bed. Kids that had been there awhile would have their beds kind of like jail when you go there you start out on the floor and wait for someone to get released.
But again I was so use to that it was pattern. I would lie there wondering where my parents were and why didn't they want me and where's my brother how come I couldn't go where he went?
I would here them in the other room, they thought we boys were all asleep I could here them talking about me. Saying things like the money they were getting for me wasn't going to enough for them to take the vacation they had wanted to go on and so on.
I would get up in the morning while the other boys were already getting to the breakfast table, I was folding my bed and putting it away only to be in trouble because we didn't come down as a group. I did the same as I do now and say I am sorry, I will try not to be late.
Those mornings would be my last mornings in homes like that because I did not like getting yelled at in front of strangers. I did not like being made fun of in front of people I did not know.
I would eat, do my chores and get ready to go with either one of the parents to go sign up for school, taking as much as I could without them knowing I was not coming back.
School's out and I am on the other side of town. I don't know anyone but a couple of the boys from the home and I tell them "I am not going back" and runaway.
I would go a couple days walking around town and find my way back to the detention hall here in Vancouver and they knew I would be coming back as they always kept the cell next to the kitchen there for me.
Three years of that here in Vancouver, two years in Portland and six years in Stockton CA..
I grew up with seeing and feeling hurt and pain from the inside out. And here I am 49 years old and I still have people making money on me, being who I am.
Still dragging out that cot from the closet because it beats sleeping on just a floor or under some tree, still having people talk about me and laughing but in a way that I don't understand.

You see when I was young I did learn something. I learn that the hurt and the pain I went through well, it hurts, it hurts really bad and I would never want someone young or old, child or adult, good or bad to go through, what I did then or what I am having to go through now.

You'll go home tonight, think about this email, and when you do please think from your heart. I did when I try to stop a woman from getting killed. another from getting pushed by a shoplifter, or a man and woman in prison for five years for something they did not do.
I did not know these people but did what I thought was right. Do you think they think about me and wonder what I am doing now?

This weekend a elderly friend of mine sister was being buried and her daughter invited me and her to dinner. We went to Portland.
My friend has not been out of the house for the last six months.
She is recovering from throat cancer and me well I just don't get out.
As we were sitting in the restaurant a person comes in and comes over to the table we were at and says to me "why did you tell on that guy he wouldn't of never done that where in the hell is your integrity" and walked away.
Ten minutes later people started chanting "home wrecker home wrecker" to the point I got up and walk to the car.
"This was not a good feeling but at least I did not get beat down this time.
And then we have my visit to the doctor yesterday when again I was denied services because of CV insurance.
I needed this appointment but Ivan denied me again and who the hell is Ivan. Hey Ivan I hope seriously that someday you are walking out of a store and someone wipes you out and then are put through the same trail as myself.
But we all know how the system sticks together you would never be here would you. It has been over eight days and I have no more med. cannot get a doctor to get them for me, don't get any messages returned to me as I have called CV's and no-one calls me back.
Oh don't you know how I feel having to live like this for the last 20 months and nobody gives a damn.

Why does Julie get to keep her job as she is the one who put me in this state of mind but yet she still gets to go home sleep in her own bed.
It is not fair.
You know I am going to kill myself because I cannot live like this I cannot go to another doctor and sit there knowing when I get up I am going to walk out of their doors and be the same person that walked through them doors.
I am going to be without any money I am going to be even more pissed off then I was before I got there.
Knowing that are going to be paid for their advice, telling me things I already know. Do you know what some people call me because I cannot buy new clothes because of Julie's deny me for a year and because she

again is the reason for me feeling and looking like this "Pig Pen"


Yes that’s me. Hey Julie, what is the last thing you bought? Was it for you or a friend maybe a family member and do you talk about how you screwed me over do you laugh? You have never even offered to apologize to me.